I'm sitting here, at 3 am writing this blog, at the time when I'm usually most emotional, trying to think of how I want to phrase this. When it gets to be late at night, I tend to go into deeper trains of thought, and I tend to get more emotional. I wonder if these emotions are my true side, and I cover them up with being in control all the time. If I could tap into those emotions, would I be a better person?
I'm not sure if there's an answer to that quesiton.
I've been thinking a lot lately about who I am, and what I want for my life, and what I'm even doing with my life.
I really want to find myself, and I think I know how to do so, I'm just not sure about how to go about doing it.
There are parts of who I am, who I know that my family and some friends would not, and could not, be understanding or supportive about. I want to keep those parts hidden from them, because I don't want to disappoint them. On the same token, I don't want to disappoint myself and not be able to show those sides because of fear.
Self discovery is never an easy thing, and shouldn't be taken lightly. The fact that I'm even willing to try self-discovery, in my opinion, is commendable, however, I think it's hard to find myself when I know that I won't be accepted by those closest to me.
I know that self-discovery is never meant to be easy, and in fact it's supposed to be pretty difficult, but I wish that it was easier.
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