We all have our hurts and pains and struggles. It’s what makes us human. More than that, it ties us all together. It’s one of the many things that we all have in common. I’m not sure anyone would be willing to disagree.
I’ve had a really hard week, and I’ve been struggling hard. I’ve realized, yet again, that I have no power over my emotions, and that scares me more than anything. I’m the kind of person that likes to be in control, and when I’m not, I feel helpless. I go through these phases, always forgetting the pain from before. I start to doubt myself and lose my self worth, and slowly I bring myself to a dark place that I don’t like to be at. For so many years, that dark spot was my comfort zone, even though it hurt. I guess that dark pain is in some strange way a safe zone. I hate being in that spot, but I can’t help but revert to it. I lose sight of who I am, and what I want, and forget that the life I used to have is no longer the one that I want for myself.
This week was just a harsh reality that I have no control over my life, and any attempt I make at gripping too hard is just going to end badly. I know I’ll come out of this eventually, but the light just seems to be too far from me right now.
If anyone’s actually reading this, I’d love some encouragement.
Bye for now.
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